Don't start out with "I'm going to tell you about myself and why I love chemistry" now. They won't read it. It's not eye catching. Compare your love for chemistry to something....like...I don't know...art? You are always saying how the hierarchies and branches of study in sciences is kind of like the different tools in art.
I mean think about it, you have materials you use in art: your paper, your precious copics, your pencils and tablet, photoshop. They can all be thought of as the chemicals and machinery needed to conduct a scientific experiment. You can't make molecules without reagents or glassware or a hood. Both require a plethora of materials, which at first glance may seem unrelated but in the end make a beautiful (hopefully in both cases) product.
They both require references. If you didn't have artistic references, you would have never been able to draw the human form, just as if you didn't have a textbook or journal article, you would have never learned how to set up a column properly.
And creativity. You know you lack no amount of creativity in either area. You just need time to stretch and learn. Look at it this way, you've been drawing for more than 10 years. That's about an undergrad and graduate career right? Right. So you've basically got a PhD in your own manga drawing skills (not quite, but you get the idea). When you did your first 4 years of manga drawing did it look pretty and refined and set in? Nope. It looked like a lot of copying from other resources (not plagiarism though, just borrowed). You basically do that now. The stuff your working with, it's been done. You're just trying to find a better way to do it. With crayons. Remember when you colored with crayons? And your works were sufficient then but you desired to find new materials, to branch out and do new things? That's your transition from organic to biochem. Sure, you can make great products in organic, but you need to stretch into a topic that interests you more. Biochem is the copic marker of your chemistry career. It's rich and vast and comes in 346 colors.
You're going to have to explain why biochem is a good end goal and art is not. Art doesn't help people. Well it can, but not in the way that you want to help people. You couldn't do medical school, cadavers and blood, and hospitals. Ick. You'd probably faint all the time, but you know you want to do some good in the world that's rewarding. You can't do political activism, though you cheer for every underdog, you're too introverted to be around that many people all the time. You are reserved; independent, though you enjoy a minimalistic amount of human interaction. That's why lab work that involves discovering and finding ways to cure disease is your cup of tea. Labs are relatively small overall, you get to work alone for the most part. You rely on yourself to get things done and yet you will have people around when you need to ask for help. Plus you love macromolecular structures and protein interactions. You haven't been looking up drug interactions since high school for no reason.
But how do you convince people in a graduate committee that even with your GPA and class record, you are perfectly suited to do this for 5 years and potentially the rest of your life. You know that love for a certain field guarantees no one yet it's more difficult to prove one's drive and motivation. Think about your art. Your cousin laughed and scoffed at your first pieces that you were so proud of. Your artwork improved on your shoulders, not on the shoulders of those who praised or critiqued your artwork. And yes, it did take almost 6 or 7 years before you could say you were truly proud of the work you've created and now it's marketable. You sometimes make a bit of cash for your artwork.
And that was just me thinking. Yes, I think in 3rd person. The better part of me talks to the worried me that is applying for schools. Cause I'm really not sure how to seem "awesome" in my personal statement.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Thursday, October 4, 2012
In Which I Answer 25 Deep Questions
Okay, I stole this set of questions from a blog on Tumblr, but I wanted to post it here since my Tumblog is art based and I really try to be my online self there more so than here. I will try to be honest, but I'm not very good at being open, so forgive me if some of these go drastically unanswered.
1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someone's eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someone's eyes when they are telling you how they feel?
This was one is easy, it's more difficult for me to look in their eyes when I'm telling them how I feel. I'm a very receptive person, it's easy for me to listen and pay attention and keep eye contact with someone when they are speaking to me. On the other hand, I'm very bad about expressing myself, especially in emotions other than stoicism or happiness, and I end up not being able to look into another person's eyes simply out of anxiety. Overall, I actually find direct eye contact to be very awkward, especially if you are particularly close to that person at the moment you happen to be talking. It's like, you aren't sure which eye to look into cause it's impossible to look into both at the same time when you're that close.
2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?
My bouts of anger are usually pretty short lived with most people. I tend to be rather apologetic and I fear I'm always offending people, even if I'm trying to compliment someone. However, and without getting specific, I'm not particularly fond of one of my friends right now. I cater really badly to people, and by cater I mean, I can be harsher to some people or I have to be extremely kind to others. I'm very fond of people that I can be openly honest with, but people who I can't be too honest with actually end up being the ones I can't stand a couple years down the road. I guess I've become disillusioned with this person and so while I'm not angry at them anymore or all the time, I still feel that slight twinge.
3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?
I would actually probably call my sister. Not that I don't love other people or like my mom. If I called my mom, she'd probably sob the whole time and not hear a word of what I said. But my sister would be like, "What do you need done before this happens?" I'd tell her how much I love her and my mom and my wildly huge extended family. Then I'd let her to know to tell my peeps how much I love them and she'd know everyone cause I have a small group of close people. And then I've give her my Facebook and DA passwords to let everyone else know. Then I'd probably hang up after we said final goodbyes that way it doesn't seem like we never got to do that. Can you tell I preplan for things like this?
4. You are at the doctor's office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?
Ok, that last question is dumb. Of course, who wouldn't be afraid? Who wouldn't secretly deep down inside seriously not want to die? There are all sorts of brave people in this world and I don't think anything can prepare you for death, even if they externally show no fear. In terms of telling people, I'd probably tell those closest to me at that particular time. I wouldn't want a pity party but I would definitely want to see those close to me one last time, and not for a brief moment. Most of that month would probably be spent spending time doing what I love with the people I love.
5. You can one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love or Trust?
Ooooo, a toughie. I like both. I value trust a lot. If a person can be honest with me and I can be honest with them, then I feel really well connected to that person. On a deeper level, I guess you'd call that honest love. I believe there are many forms of fake love, so I'd probably choose trust. They both their benefits and negatives obviously.
6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dog's life? Why or why not?
Another simple one. Save the dog's life. Anyone who knows me well knows that I'm a stickler for being on time to things, especially if I have a designated time for being there. I've let leaders or bosses know if I might potentially be late, even if I wasn't. So naturally the boss in this situation is not worth that kind of fretting over; his watch is in fact wrong, and I'd still be probably 5 or so minutes early. If he fires me, welp, I can't help that he didn't set his clocks right.
7. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?
Again, another tough one. As I mentioned above, I think there are so many forms of deceptive love and I'm skeptical about it, so probably that one. While I'm skeptical about trusting people, the ones I do trust, I trust fully and so it would be way harder to take.
8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say?
I honestly can't give a complete answer on this one because it would depend on the situation, time, place, etc. And obviously the person. I consider myself to have several best friends, both of the female and male gender. Even if it was someone who I also liked back, I'd probably step back a moment and think about it. So yeah, it would depend.
9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or why not?
Nope, just nope. It may seem selfish, but one year of my life who be significantly more important to me than 1 hour for that person.
10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
In most aspects, yes. I'd love to have someone exactly like me to tell me off, whom I could tell off. We'd probably be royals pains to each other, but in the end we'd know the other was just being honest and truthful and they trusted us enough to tell us that truth.
Then again, it would also suck if they didn't trust us enough.
11. Does love = sex?
No. Plain and simple. I think at some point in a relationship (a good relationship, not a casual one) that sex can be a very important and common aspect. And for a while, that's what it's all about, but I think true relationships that last a long time have to encompass all forms of love. I think a relationship built from sex will be, in most cases, short lived and not necessarily pleasant for both people. Someone always wants more.
12. Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means or income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or why not?
Again, this is a very depends on the situation question. In this economy, giving up my job for someone else would seem rather foolish. I'd have to have another job idea lined up in order to be that kind. There are a lot of ifs, ands or buts in this question. What if I was single? Then this job is also my only means of income. I am in fact supporting myself. If I have a family, and my husband or significant other has a job, then it would be more likely. If the oppurtunity presented itself to have a better more fulfilling job, I probably would. But my boss could also be laying to person off for more reasons other than a work shortage and the time the coworker has worked there.
13. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?
Ask me later this year.
14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite/same sex, you love them or you do not love them back?
That I love them. I've yet to be put into the position of rejecting someone, so I honestly can't compare the two right now.
15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?
I've always had this fear of losing my sight. Everything we do in this world is almost all visually oriented and with being an artist as well as a chemist, I value my sight (they didn't invent lab goggles for no reason). I use sight to analyze people's body language when I'm talking to them.
The only thing I might ever miss as much would be my hearing. I love listening to voices and music.
16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you?
I'm pretty sure I told one of my best friends that I loved them last weekend. It's much easier to say that to a best friend who is female, but I do love all of my close friends.
17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why?
Wouldn't. My brain tends to try and disregard regret. If you spend all your time focusing on what you could have changed, then you aren't changing the present you, which is more important. I'd rather look to a future of no regrets than a past of trying to clear them up.
18. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or why not?
Yes.
And I'm not sure why some of these questions have why or why nots on them.
19. You are holding onto your grandmother's hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was the rationale for making the decision?
I'd hand the newborn over to my grandmother's free arm and save them both. My rationale? Occasionally, I'm not a realist and I'm overly optimistic.
I'd like to intervene in these questions for a second and let the person that wrote these know that although deep, some of these questions are just plain evil.
20. Are you old fashioned?
I think outwardly, I try not to be. Old fashioned to me implies sticking to very strict and rigid guidelines for perceiving yourself and others. Personally and internally, I think I am. I'm very open to other people's ways of life and I think that is still a very modern way of thinking for this world. So yeah, I'm kinda old fashioned but kinda not.
21. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?
When I bought my friend lunch because I wanted to hang out with him. Then again, I guess I did get to hang out with him in return for buying him a sandwich. :/
22. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?
Even if my heart was broken, I'd probably still reflect on the times that love was true. I've had love all my life for the most part and I definitely would not want to live without it. And even with that love, my heart has been broken several times by people I've deeply cared about, so eh? I'm alive and love with broken heartedness is much better than no love at all.
23. If you do anything or wish anything, what would it be?
That the writer of these questions actually had two more original questions after this but it turns out they forgot that they just asked 22 and 23 and just repeated them both for 24 and 25.
Deceptive, question writer, deceptive.
Therefore there were only 23 questions asked. :/
1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someone's eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someone's eyes when they are telling you how they feel?
This was one is easy, it's more difficult for me to look in their eyes when I'm telling them how I feel. I'm a very receptive person, it's easy for me to listen and pay attention and keep eye contact with someone when they are speaking to me. On the other hand, I'm very bad about expressing myself, especially in emotions other than stoicism or happiness, and I end up not being able to look into another person's eyes simply out of anxiety. Overall, I actually find direct eye contact to be very awkward, especially if you are particularly close to that person at the moment you happen to be talking. It's like, you aren't sure which eye to look into cause it's impossible to look into both at the same time when you're that close.
2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?
My bouts of anger are usually pretty short lived with most people. I tend to be rather apologetic and I fear I'm always offending people, even if I'm trying to compliment someone. However, and without getting specific, I'm not particularly fond of one of my friends right now. I cater really badly to people, and by cater I mean, I can be harsher to some people or I have to be extremely kind to others. I'm very fond of people that I can be openly honest with, but people who I can't be too honest with actually end up being the ones I can't stand a couple years down the road. I guess I've become disillusioned with this person and so while I'm not angry at them anymore or all the time, I still feel that slight twinge.
3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?
I would actually probably call my sister. Not that I don't love other people or like my mom. If I called my mom, she'd probably sob the whole time and not hear a word of what I said. But my sister would be like, "What do you need done before this happens?" I'd tell her how much I love her and my mom and my wildly huge extended family. Then I'd let her to know to tell my peeps how much I love them and she'd know everyone cause I have a small group of close people. And then I've give her my Facebook and DA passwords to let everyone else know. Then I'd probably hang up after we said final goodbyes that way it doesn't seem like we never got to do that. Can you tell I preplan for things like this?
4. You are at the doctor's office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?
Ok, that last question is dumb. Of course, who wouldn't be afraid? Who wouldn't secretly deep down inside seriously not want to die? There are all sorts of brave people in this world and I don't think anything can prepare you for death, even if they externally show no fear. In terms of telling people, I'd probably tell those closest to me at that particular time. I wouldn't want a pity party but I would definitely want to see those close to me one last time, and not for a brief moment. Most of that month would probably be spent spending time doing what I love with the people I love.
5. You can one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love or Trust?
Ooooo, a toughie. I like both. I value trust a lot. If a person can be honest with me and I can be honest with them, then I feel really well connected to that person. On a deeper level, I guess you'd call that honest love. I believe there are many forms of fake love, so I'd probably choose trust. They both their benefits and negatives obviously.
6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dog's life? Why or why not?
Another simple one. Save the dog's life. Anyone who knows me well knows that I'm a stickler for being on time to things, especially if I have a designated time for being there. I've let leaders or bosses know if I might potentially be late, even if I wasn't. So naturally the boss in this situation is not worth that kind of fretting over; his watch is in fact wrong, and I'd still be probably 5 or so minutes early. If he fires me, welp, I can't help that he didn't set his clocks right.
7. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?
Again, another tough one. As I mentioned above, I think there are so many forms of deceptive love and I'm skeptical about it, so probably that one. While I'm skeptical about trusting people, the ones I do trust, I trust fully and so it would be way harder to take.
8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say?
I honestly can't give a complete answer on this one because it would depend on the situation, time, place, etc. And obviously the person. I consider myself to have several best friends, both of the female and male gender. Even if it was someone who I also liked back, I'd probably step back a moment and think about it. So yeah, it would depend.
9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or why not?
Nope, just nope. It may seem selfish, but one year of my life who be significantly more important to me than 1 hour for that person.
10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
In most aspects, yes. I'd love to have someone exactly like me to tell me off, whom I could tell off. We'd probably be royals pains to each other, but in the end we'd know the other was just being honest and truthful and they trusted us enough to tell us that truth.
Then again, it would also suck if they didn't trust us enough.
11. Does love = sex?
No. Plain and simple. I think at some point in a relationship (a good relationship, not a casual one) that sex can be a very important and common aspect. And for a while, that's what it's all about, but I think true relationships that last a long time have to encompass all forms of love. I think a relationship built from sex will be, in most cases, short lived and not necessarily pleasant for both people. Someone always wants more.
12. Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means or income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or why not?
Again, this is a very depends on the situation question. In this economy, giving up my job for someone else would seem rather foolish. I'd have to have another job idea lined up in order to be that kind. There are a lot of ifs, ands or buts in this question. What if I was single? Then this job is also my only means of income. I am in fact supporting myself. If I have a family, and my husband or significant other has a job, then it would be more likely. If the oppurtunity presented itself to have a better more fulfilling job, I probably would. But my boss could also be laying to person off for more reasons other than a work shortage and the time the coworker has worked there.
13. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?
Ask me later this year.
14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite/same sex, you love them or you do not love them back?
That I love them. I've yet to be put into the position of rejecting someone, so I honestly can't compare the two right now.
15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?
I've always had this fear of losing my sight. Everything we do in this world is almost all visually oriented and with being an artist as well as a chemist, I value my sight (they didn't invent lab goggles for no reason). I use sight to analyze people's body language when I'm talking to them.
The only thing I might ever miss as much would be my hearing. I love listening to voices and music.
16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you?
I'm pretty sure I told one of my best friends that I loved them last weekend. It's much easier to say that to a best friend who is female, but I do love all of my close friends.
17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why?
Wouldn't. My brain tends to try and disregard regret. If you spend all your time focusing on what you could have changed, then you aren't changing the present you, which is more important. I'd rather look to a future of no regrets than a past of trying to clear them up.
18. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or why not?
Yes.
And I'm not sure why some of these questions have why or why nots on them.
19. You are holding onto your grandmother's hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was the rationale for making the decision?
I'd hand the newborn over to my grandmother's free arm and save them both. My rationale? Occasionally, I'm not a realist and I'm overly optimistic.
I'd like to intervene in these questions for a second and let the person that wrote these know that although deep, some of these questions are just plain evil.
20. Are you old fashioned?
I think outwardly, I try not to be. Old fashioned to me implies sticking to very strict and rigid guidelines for perceiving yourself and others. Personally and internally, I think I am. I'm very open to other people's ways of life and I think that is still a very modern way of thinking for this world. So yeah, I'm kinda old fashioned but kinda not.
21. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?
When I bought my friend lunch because I wanted to hang out with him. Then again, I guess I did get to hang out with him in return for buying him a sandwich. :/
22. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?
Even if my heart was broken, I'd probably still reflect on the times that love was true. I've had love all my life for the most part and I definitely would not want to live without it. And even with that love, my heart has been broken several times by people I've deeply cared about, so eh? I'm alive and love with broken heartedness is much better than no love at all.
23. If you do anything or wish anything, what would it be?
That the writer of these questions actually had two more original questions after this but it turns out they forgot that they just asked 22 and 23 and just repeated them both for 24 and 25.
Deceptive, question writer, deceptive.
Therefore there were only 23 questions asked. :/
Monday, October 1, 2012
The Great Facebook Purge
I've had my own Facebook page since the dawn of high school Facebook in I think 2006. Back then, Facebook profiles could only be obtained if you were invited by a student at your school who had a page. Sometimes I wonder who was the origin of Zionsville's Facebook community. Either way, back then, I found Facebook creepy but a good way to get into contact with people since I still had no cellular device until 2 years later. I didn't post much in statuses or photos, I just existed there merely to come into contact with my friends from school and also to keep in contact with the people I had moved away from.
As I grew more and more comfortable with my online self, I posted more, complained more, added more people who I didn't necessarily really interact with. This is odd to me personally because offline, I keep very few people close. If you ask me how many friends I have, I may actually only say around 4 or 5 names because my friendship circles exist in very strict hierarchies. I generally do not have just friends. I have people I deeply care about and then I have people who I interact with occasionally but really never delve my deepest secrets to, and I usually regard them more as acquaintances. Most people I know think I see this as a very black and white divide, but it's how I've developed many of my friendships in the past.
So then why do I have 300 people that I am friends with on Facebook? I'm not really sure. I skimmed it and I see people who, while generally interested in what is happening in their school lives lately, I could actually care less about their overall daily lives. And they do not interact on my Facebook page either.
But what I also don't understand is why on Facebook I'm more open to complaining or posting things which I would not usually share with people who could care less. Naturally I will never stop posting my artwork on my Facebook profile because I understand not everyone goes to my DA page to view my gallery and I feel like that art is something I can share with everyone, not just my close friends.
Tonight, I made the conscious decision to discontinue this useless path of aimlessly posting my every thought to Facebook. Come graduation time, I want to be able to post updates about the general things happening in my life to the people who I know are interested to look at that in the future; to keep in contact with those I wish to keep in contact with whom also stay in contact with me. I've also been attempting to purge my friends list, which is an easy task when you ask one question: Do I care about this person's daily life and do they continue to interact with mine via Facebook?
I'm not doing this because it's unprofessional or is gonna fail to get me a job in the future, but I do actually remember a time when I was literally an invisible wall of a person. People could not get inside me with noticing me first. And I value that deep interaction I have with people; both offline and online. I've met many great people online that I consider to be in my inner online circle, similar to those I know offline who are within my inner circle in real life. They are slightly different but only because on the surface, I see one face-to-face all the time and the others I've never met offline yet.
Of course, my Twitter is what it is. I'm trying to be conscious about what I post there too, to be the right balanced person on those, but it is a good way to interact with my DeviantArt followers who are interested in me moreso outside of my DA gallery.
As I grew more and more comfortable with my online self, I posted more, complained more, added more people who I didn't necessarily really interact with. This is odd to me personally because offline, I keep very few people close. If you ask me how many friends I have, I may actually only say around 4 or 5 names because my friendship circles exist in very strict hierarchies. I generally do not have just friends. I have people I deeply care about and then I have people who I interact with occasionally but really never delve my deepest secrets to, and I usually regard them more as acquaintances. Most people I know think I see this as a very black and white divide, but it's how I've developed many of my friendships in the past.
So then why do I have 300 people that I am friends with on Facebook? I'm not really sure. I skimmed it and I see people who, while generally interested in what is happening in their school lives lately, I could actually care less about their overall daily lives. And they do not interact on my Facebook page either.
But what I also don't understand is why on Facebook I'm more open to complaining or posting things which I would not usually share with people who could care less. Naturally I will never stop posting my artwork on my Facebook profile because I understand not everyone goes to my DA page to view my gallery and I feel like that art is something I can share with everyone, not just my close friends.
Tonight, I made the conscious decision to discontinue this useless path of aimlessly posting my every thought to Facebook. Come graduation time, I want to be able to post updates about the general things happening in my life to the people who I know are interested to look at that in the future; to keep in contact with those I wish to keep in contact with whom also stay in contact with me. I've also been attempting to purge my friends list, which is an easy task when you ask one question: Do I care about this person's daily life and do they continue to interact with mine via Facebook?
I'm not doing this because it's unprofessional or is gonna fail to get me a job in the future, but I do actually remember a time when I was literally an invisible wall of a person. People could not get inside me with noticing me first. And I value that deep interaction I have with people; both offline and online. I've met many great people online that I consider to be in my inner online circle, similar to those I know offline who are within my inner circle in real life. They are slightly different but only because on the surface, I see one face-to-face all the time and the others I've never met offline yet.
Of course, my Twitter is what it is. I'm trying to be conscious about what I post there too, to be the right balanced person on those, but it is a good way to interact with my DeviantArt followers who are interested in me moreso outside of my DA gallery.
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