Today, I found out that one of my good friends from high school's father passed away. He had stage IV melanoma for only a month.
I've been reminded lately how fragile life can be; cancer recently took the life of my Aunt. And after yesterday's tragedy in Connecticut, I'm feeling an abundance of sadness.
Tomorrow, however, I will be strong for my friend because I know what its like to lose your father. I know what it's like to be in college and far away, and I hope she got all the opportunity in the world to see him before he passed away. I know that those moments can't make up for a lifetime that will be lost; for future moments that won't happen now.
I'm feeling down as well. This man was very into participating in the things that his kids loved, like winterguard and marching band. Everyone knew him and he was always working for the crew.
So tomorrow, it will be hard. But I hope I can be strong.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Thursday, December 13, 2012
How to Not Behave When You Have a Boyfriend
First off, I'd like to note that, no, I'm not jealous of my friend. In fact I find it quite hilarious and also sad that she is acting like this. On another, I hope this is a learning experience. I've definitely learned from watching this event on the outside.
Lemme give you a few fake names here. First we're going to talk about Bee, one of my friends. She's getting a little far off my bff platform (I'm an INFJ, there's a large void where friends should exist, coating a small but wonderful inner circle and surrounded by a sea of acquantainces which haven't attempt to cross the void yet) and well Bee just got a boyfriend.
I cannot correctly say this is her first, but I can say if it isn't it has been a fairly long time since the last. Bee is my age (senior) and her new found love is a sophomore. They've been dating for around 5 or so weeks now. For the most part, I have no idea what's going on except for the bit I hear in some context when my friends who live with Bee talk about this situation or when she talks about it.
Now, as an INFJ, I process facts a bit differently. I can tell when people are lying or somehow construing reality in their favor. So I've been processing a lot about this and its been burning me to know that my friends, who live in the house with Bee hardly see her anymore.
I never understood why a girl feels the need to throw themselves upon their man every second they aren't engaged in otherwise "important" situations (studying for Bee), and ignore their girlfriends. Seems like a pretty crappy way to treat those that want to hang out with you too.
But Ame, you're just saying this because you are upset about the situation.
No, I'm not. I hardly see Bee anymore so this is no different than any situation, though I do believe she asked me if I was going to ballroom one night just so she would know if she'd be introducing her boyfriend to another friend. I politely said no because I had no intention of going, much less to meet the person that is taking time away from her other friends.
Here are some of my beliefs
Lemme give you a few fake names here. First we're going to talk about Bee, one of my friends. She's getting a little far off my bff platform (I'm an INFJ, there's a large void where friends should exist, coating a small but wonderful inner circle and surrounded by a sea of acquantainces which haven't attempt to cross the void yet) and well Bee just got a boyfriend.
I cannot correctly say this is her first, but I can say if it isn't it has been a fairly long time since the last. Bee is my age (senior) and her new found love is a sophomore. They've been dating for around 5 or so weeks now. For the most part, I have no idea what's going on except for the bit I hear in some context when my friends who live with Bee talk about this situation or when she talks about it.
Now, as an INFJ, I process facts a bit differently. I can tell when people are lying or somehow construing reality in their favor. So I've been processing a lot about this and its been burning me to know that my friends, who live in the house with Bee hardly see her anymore.
I never understood why a girl feels the need to throw themselves upon their man every second they aren't engaged in otherwise "important" situations (studying for Bee), and ignore their girlfriends. Seems like a pretty crappy way to treat those that want to hang out with you too.
But Ame, you're just saying this because you are upset about the situation.
No, I'm not. I hardly see Bee anymore so this is no different than any situation, though I do believe she asked me if I was going to ballroom one night just so she would know if she'd be introducing her boyfriend to another friend. I politely said no because I had no intention of going, much less to meet the person that is taking time away from her other friends.
Here are some of my beliefs
- First off, I can't support a relationship that moves that fast, especially for someone I know to be quite, err, shall I say "innocent"
- Second, technically, I believe, like muscles, friendships require maintenance. If you treat them poorly, you will anger them or even lose them
- Third, I would not expect friends treated like that to support you. Meaning, when your man hurts you and you come crying back to them, they'll probably be somewhat thankful, cause it means they get to spend time with you.
I'm not saying my friends believe this, it is of course just my opinion. Since I'm out of this social situation (and very glad not to be there but will still support my friends) I can't say what anyone else feels.
I just want one thing to be taken away from this: Your boyfriend may be the new greatest thing to happen to you. Losing yourself in his world is not a way to live. Unless you know you are going to be with him forever, at some point you will get in a fight, have a disagreement. At some point you will want to talk to those people with whom you live. You will want them to take your side and be sincere. So if you are spending ever other minute with him, think for second: how many times have you actually spent time with the people you call friends lately? If you can't answer with a relatively good positive number, maybe you should decide to take some time away from boy and spend with your plethora of friends. Have a girls' night out once a week or a girls' night in. Tell them you won't talk about your boy toy and that you just really want to spend time with them.
You'll probably wonder if this actually has any benefits for you. You'll be happy to know it does. Here's a list:
- You will be able to maintain your social skills (you can't improve them with one person)
- Your friends will feel the love (if you don't care about them, that's sad, and I feel more sorry for them)
- Your friends will be more likely to accept your relationship in a positive light
- It's healthy for you to maintain good friendships. You won't want to tell your boy everything, trust me.
I know it sounds a bit selfless, but how is it any different than giving all your time to your boyfriend?
Thursday, November 22, 2012
An Open Letter to Black Friday Shoppers
Dear Black Friday shoppers,
I just made my way back from a little adventure to my local art supply store to utilize a good coupon to buy some card supplies for the DeviantArt Holiday Card Project. I usually don't do black friday shopping, but I was hoping to get a cheap deal since the project is for charity. As I walked up to the checkout lane, I began to feel sorry for the workers who had gotten to work there at 4pm today, perhaps missing the best part of Thanksgiving day. So once I had paid for my items and the cashier was handing me my receipt, I told him, "Thank you for working on Thanksgiving". He seemed shocked that I would say this.
I work at a grocery store and today I had to work until 3 pm. While I've been used to working every Thanksgiving, I've been fortunate enough to always be able to go home in the early evening to finish cooking dinner with my family and enjoy the evening. But throughout my day, I hear a variety of comments on my "situation". Usually they are thanks for working during that day, but occasionally, I get the "oh, yeah, you'll get off soon enough". I'm not bitter or anything, but I miss the normal Thanksgiving traditions of waking up in the morning, watching the Macy's parade and helping bake pies and cook dinner while spending time with family. I can't be thankful enough to have the evening free, but this year retail stores seem to want to open their doors early on Thanksgiving evening.
Tonight, retail workers have started earlier this evening to prepare their stores for the oncoming Black Friday. Many of them did not get to choose the schedule that they work during the week and while they will smile and greet you kindly come early tomorrow morning and throughout the day, they may have time taken from their families on Thanksgiving in order to feed your need to get good deals on some nice material goods. So when you go through the checkout lane tomorrow, after you've rushed and harassed your way to that special item, remember to thank your cashier, the associate who helped you find the cheap TV or gameset, the manager that opened his store on Friday evening to let shoppers in early.
Happy shopping,
Ame
P.S. - obviously this is directed to those whose full time jobs give them Thanksgiving and Black Friday off
P.P.S. - If you are offended by this letter, I'm sorry. A little.
I just made my way back from a little adventure to my local art supply store to utilize a good coupon to buy some card supplies for the DeviantArt Holiday Card Project. I usually don't do black friday shopping, but I was hoping to get a cheap deal since the project is for charity. As I walked up to the checkout lane, I began to feel sorry for the workers who had gotten to work there at 4pm today, perhaps missing the best part of Thanksgiving day. So once I had paid for my items and the cashier was handing me my receipt, I told him, "Thank you for working on Thanksgiving". He seemed shocked that I would say this.
I work at a grocery store and today I had to work until 3 pm. While I've been used to working every Thanksgiving, I've been fortunate enough to always be able to go home in the early evening to finish cooking dinner with my family and enjoy the evening. But throughout my day, I hear a variety of comments on my "situation". Usually they are thanks for working during that day, but occasionally, I get the "oh, yeah, you'll get off soon enough". I'm not bitter or anything, but I miss the normal Thanksgiving traditions of waking up in the morning, watching the Macy's parade and helping bake pies and cook dinner while spending time with family. I can't be thankful enough to have the evening free, but this year retail stores seem to want to open their doors early on Thanksgiving evening.
Tonight, retail workers have started earlier this evening to prepare their stores for the oncoming Black Friday. Many of them did not get to choose the schedule that they work during the week and while they will smile and greet you kindly come early tomorrow morning and throughout the day, they may have time taken from their families on Thanksgiving in order to feed your need to get good deals on some nice material goods. So when you go through the checkout lane tomorrow, after you've rushed and harassed your way to that special item, remember to thank your cashier, the associate who helped you find the cheap TV or gameset, the manager that opened his store on Friday evening to let shoppers in early.
Happy shopping,
Ame
P.S. - obviously this is directed to those whose full time jobs give them Thanksgiving and Black Friday off
P.P.S. - If you are offended by this letter, I'm sorry. A little.
Monday, October 8, 2012
The Thought Process of a Personal Statement
Don't start out with "I'm going to tell you about myself and why I love chemistry" now. They won't read it. It's not eye catching. Compare your love for chemistry to something....like...I don't know...art? You are always saying how the hierarchies and branches of study in sciences is kind of like the different tools in art.
I mean think about it, you have materials you use in art: your paper, your precious copics, your pencils and tablet, photoshop. They can all be thought of as the chemicals and machinery needed to conduct a scientific experiment. You can't make molecules without reagents or glassware or a hood. Both require a plethora of materials, which at first glance may seem unrelated but in the end make a beautiful (hopefully in both cases) product.
They both require references. If you didn't have artistic references, you would have never been able to draw the human form, just as if you didn't have a textbook or journal article, you would have never learned how to set up a column properly.
And creativity. You know you lack no amount of creativity in either area. You just need time to stretch and learn. Look at it this way, you've been drawing for more than 10 years. That's about an undergrad and graduate career right? Right. So you've basically got a PhD in your own manga drawing skills (not quite, but you get the idea). When you did your first 4 years of manga drawing did it look pretty and refined and set in? Nope. It looked like a lot of copying from other resources (not plagiarism though, just borrowed). You basically do that now. The stuff your working with, it's been done. You're just trying to find a better way to do it. With crayons. Remember when you colored with crayons? And your works were sufficient then but you desired to find new materials, to branch out and do new things? That's your transition from organic to biochem. Sure, you can make great products in organic, but you need to stretch into a topic that interests you more. Biochem is the copic marker of your chemistry career. It's rich and vast and comes in 346 colors.
You're going to have to explain why biochem is a good end goal and art is not. Art doesn't help people. Well it can, but not in the way that you want to help people. You couldn't do medical school, cadavers and blood, and hospitals. Ick. You'd probably faint all the time, but you know you want to do some good in the world that's rewarding. You can't do political activism, though you cheer for every underdog, you're too introverted to be around that many people all the time. You are reserved; independent, though you enjoy a minimalistic amount of human interaction. That's why lab work that involves discovering and finding ways to cure disease is your cup of tea. Labs are relatively small overall, you get to work alone for the most part. You rely on yourself to get things done and yet you will have people around when you need to ask for help. Plus you love macromolecular structures and protein interactions. You haven't been looking up drug interactions since high school for no reason.
But how do you convince people in a graduate committee that even with your GPA and class record, you are perfectly suited to do this for 5 years and potentially the rest of your life. You know that love for a certain field guarantees no one yet it's more difficult to prove one's drive and motivation. Think about your art. Your cousin laughed and scoffed at your first pieces that you were so proud of. Your artwork improved on your shoulders, not on the shoulders of those who praised or critiqued your artwork. And yes, it did take almost 6 or 7 years before you could say you were truly proud of the work you've created and now it's marketable. You sometimes make a bit of cash for your artwork.
And that was just me thinking. Yes, I think in 3rd person. The better part of me talks to the worried me that is applying for schools. Cause I'm really not sure how to seem "awesome" in my personal statement.
I mean think about it, you have materials you use in art: your paper, your precious copics, your pencils and tablet, photoshop. They can all be thought of as the chemicals and machinery needed to conduct a scientific experiment. You can't make molecules without reagents or glassware or a hood. Both require a plethora of materials, which at first glance may seem unrelated but in the end make a beautiful (hopefully in both cases) product.
They both require references. If you didn't have artistic references, you would have never been able to draw the human form, just as if you didn't have a textbook or journal article, you would have never learned how to set up a column properly.
And creativity. You know you lack no amount of creativity in either area. You just need time to stretch and learn. Look at it this way, you've been drawing for more than 10 years. That's about an undergrad and graduate career right? Right. So you've basically got a PhD in your own manga drawing skills (not quite, but you get the idea). When you did your first 4 years of manga drawing did it look pretty and refined and set in? Nope. It looked like a lot of copying from other resources (not plagiarism though, just borrowed). You basically do that now. The stuff your working with, it's been done. You're just trying to find a better way to do it. With crayons. Remember when you colored with crayons? And your works were sufficient then but you desired to find new materials, to branch out and do new things? That's your transition from organic to biochem. Sure, you can make great products in organic, but you need to stretch into a topic that interests you more. Biochem is the copic marker of your chemistry career. It's rich and vast and comes in 346 colors.
You're going to have to explain why biochem is a good end goal and art is not. Art doesn't help people. Well it can, but not in the way that you want to help people. You couldn't do medical school, cadavers and blood, and hospitals. Ick. You'd probably faint all the time, but you know you want to do some good in the world that's rewarding. You can't do political activism, though you cheer for every underdog, you're too introverted to be around that many people all the time. You are reserved; independent, though you enjoy a minimalistic amount of human interaction. That's why lab work that involves discovering and finding ways to cure disease is your cup of tea. Labs are relatively small overall, you get to work alone for the most part. You rely on yourself to get things done and yet you will have people around when you need to ask for help. Plus you love macromolecular structures and protein interactions. You haven't been looking up drug interactions since high school for no reason.
But how do you convince people in a graduate committee that even with your GPA and class record, you are perfectly suited to do this for 5 years and potentially the rest of your life. You know that love for a certain field guarantees no one yet it's more difficult to prove one's drive and motivation. Think about your art. Your cousin laughed and scoffed at your first pieces that you were so proud of. Your artwork improved on your shoulders, not on the shoulders of those who praised or critiqued your artwork. And yes, it did take almost 6 or 7 years before you could say you were truly proud of the work you've created and now it's marketable. You sometimes make a bit of cash for your artwork.
And that was just me thinking. Yes, I think in 3rd person. The better part of me talks to the worried me that is applying for schools. Cause I'm really not sure how to seem "awesome" in my personal statement.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
In Which I Answer 25 Deep Questions
Okay, I stole this set of questions from a blog on Tumblr, but I wanted to post it here since my Tumblog is art based and I really try to be my online self there more so than here. I will try to be honest, but I'm not very good at being open, so forgive me if some of these go drastically unanswered.
1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someone's eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someone's eyes when they are telling you how they feel?
This was one is easy, it's more difficult for me to look in their eyes when I'm telling them how I feel. I'm a very receptive person, it's easy for me to listen and pay attention and keep eye contact with someone when they are speaking to me. On the other hand, I'm very bad about expressing myself, especially in emotions other than stoicism or happiness, and I end up not being able to look into another person's eyes simply out of anxiety. Overall, I actually find direct eye contact to be very awkward, especially if you are particularly close to that person at the moment you happen to be talking. It's like, you aren't sure which eye to look into cause it's impossible to look into both at the same time when you're that close.
2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?
My bouts of anger are usually pretty short lived with most people. I tend to be rather apologetic and I fear I'm always offending people, even if I'm trying to compliment someone. However, and without getting specific, I'm not particularly fond of one of my friends right now. I cater really badly to people, and by cater I mean, I can be harsher to some people or I have to be extremely kind to others. I'm very fond of people that I can be openly honest with, but people who I can't be too honest with actually end up being the ones I can't stand a couple years down the road. I guess I've become disillusioned with this person and so while I'm not angry at them anymore or all the time, I still feel that slight twinge.
3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?
I would actually probably call my sister. Not that I don't love other people or like my mom. If I called my mom, she'd probably sob the whole time and not hear a word of what I said. But my sister would be like, "What do you need done before this happens?" I'd tell her how much I love her and my mom and my wildly huge extended family. Then I'd let her to know to tell my peeps how much I love them and she'd know everyone cause I have a small group of close people. And then I've give her my Facebook and DA passwords to let everyone else know. Then I'd probably hang up after we said final goodbyes that way it doesn't seem like we never got to do that. Can you tell I preplan for things like this?
4. You are at the doctor's office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?
Ok, that last question is dumb. Of course, who wouldn't be afraid? Who wouldn't secretly deep down inside seriously not want to die? There are all sorts of brave people in this world and I don't think anything can prepare you for death, even if they externally show no fear. In terms of telling people, I'd probably tell those closest to me at that particular time. I wouldn't want a pity party but I would definitely want to see those close to me one last time, and not for a brief moment. Most of that month would probably be spent spending time doing what I love with the people I love.
5. You can one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love or Trust?
Ooooo, a toughie. I like both. I value trust a lot. If a person can be honest with me and I can be honest with them, then I feel really well connected to that person. On a deeper level, I guess you'd call that honest love. I believe there are many forms of fake love, so I'd probably choose trust. They both their benefits and negatives obviously.
6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dog's life? Why or why not?
Another simple one. Save the dog's life. Anyone who knows me well knows that I'm a stickler for being on time to things, especially if I have a designated time for being there. I've let leaders or bosses know if I might potentially be late, even if I wasn't. So naturally the boss in this situation is not worth that kind of fretting over; his watch is in fact wrong, and I'd still be probably 5 or so minutes early. If he fires me, welp, I can't help that he didn't set his clocks right.
7. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?
Again, another tough one. As I mentioned above, I think there are so many forms of deceptive love and I'm skeptical about it, so probably that one. While I'm skeptical about trusting people, the ones I do trust, I trust fully and so it would be way harder to take.
8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say?
I honestly can't give a complete answer on this one because it would depend on the situation, time, place, etc. And obviously the person. I consider myself to have several best friends, both of the female and male gender. Even if it was someone who I also liked back, I'd probably step back a moment and think about it. So yeah, it would depend.
9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or why not?
Nope, just nope. It may seem selfish, but one year of my life who be significantly more important to me than 1 hour for that person.
10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
In most aspects, yes. I'd love to have someone exactly like me to tell me off, whom I could tell off. We'd probably be royals pains to each other, but in the end we'd know the other was just being honest and truthful and they trusted us enough to tell us that truth.
Then again, it would also suck if they didn't trust us enough.
11. Does love = sex?
No. Plain and simple. I think at some point in a relationship (a good relationship, not a casual one) that sex can be a very important and common aspect. And for a while, that's what it's all about, but I think true relationships that last a long time have to encompass all forms of love. I think a relationship built from sex will be, in most cases, short lived and not necessarily pleasant for both people. Someone always wants more.
12. Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means or income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or why not?
Again, this is a very depends on the situation question. In this economy, giving up my job for someone else would seem rather foolish. I'd have to have another job idea lined up in order to be that kind. There are a lot of ifs, ands or buts in this question. What if I was single? Then this job is also my only means of income. I am in fact supporting myself. If I have a family, and my husband or significant other has a job, then it would be more likely. If the oppurtunity presented itself to have a better more fulfilling job, I probably would. But my boss could also be laying to person off for more reasons other than a work shortage and the time the coworker has worked there.
13. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?
Ask me later this year.
14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite/same sex, you love them or you do not love them back?
That I love them. I've yet to be put into the position of rejecting someone, so I honestly can't compare the two right now.
15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?
I've always had this fear of losing my sight. Everything we do in this world is almost all visually oriented and with being an artist as well as a chemist, I value my sight (they didn't invent lab goggles for no reason). I use sight to analyze people's body language when I'm talking to them.
The only thing I might ever miss as much would be my hearing. I love listening to voices and music.
16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you?
I'm pretty sure I told one of my best friends that I loved them last weekend. It's much easier to say that to a best friend who is female, but I do love all of my close friends.
17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why?
Wouldn't. My brain tends to try and disregard regret. If you spend all your time focusing on what you could have changed, then you aren't changing the present you, which is more important. I'd rather look to a future of no regrets than a past of trying to clear them up.
18. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or why not?
Yes.
And I'm not sure why some of these questions have why or why nots on them.
19. You are holding onto your grandmother's hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was the rationale for making the decision?
I'd hand the newborn over to my grandmother's free arm and save them both. My rationale? Occasionally, I'm not a realist and I'm overly optimistic.
I'd like to intervene in these questions for a second and let the person that wrote these know that although deep, some of these questions are just plain evil.
20. Are you old fashioned?
I think outwardly, I try not to be. Old fashioned to me implies sticking to very strict and rigid guidelines for perceiving yourself and others. Personally and internally, I think I am. I'm very open to other people's ways of life and I think that is still a very modern way of thinking for this world. So yeah, I'm kinda old fashioned but kinda not.
21. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?
When I bought my friend lunch because I wanted to hang out with him. Then again, I guess I did get to hang out with him in return for buying him a sandwich. :/
22. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?
Even if my heart was broken, I'd probably still reflect on the times that love was true. I've had love all my life for the most part and I definitely would not want to live without it. And even with that love, my heart has been broken several times by people I've deeply cared about, so eh? I'm alive and love with broken heartedness is much better than no love at all.
23. If you do anything or wish anything, what would it be?
That the writer of these questions actually had two more original questions after this but it turns out they forgot that they just asked 22 and 23 and just repeated them both for 24 and 25.
Deceptive, question writer, deceptive.
Therefore there were only 23 questions asked. :/
1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someone's eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someone's eyes when they are telling you how they feel?
This was one is easy, it's more difficult for me to look in their eyes when I'm telling them how I feel. I'm a very receptive person, it's easy for me to listen and pay attention and keep eye contact with someone when they are speaking to me. On the other hand, I'm very bad about expressing myself, especially in emotions other than stoicism or happiness, and I end up not being able to look into another person's eyes simply out of anxiety. Overall, I actually find direct eye contact to be very awkward, especially if you are particularly close to that person at the moment you happen to be talking. It's like, you aren't sure which eye to look into cause it's impossible to look into both at the same time when you're that close.
2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?
My bouts of anger are usually pretty short lived with most people. I tend to be rather apologetic and I fear I'm always offending people, even if I'm trying to compliment someone. However, and without getting specific, I'm not particularly fond of one of my friends right now. I cater really badly to people, and by cater I mean, I can be harsher to some people or I have to be extremely kind to others. I'm very fond of people that I can be openly honest with, but people who I can't be too honest with actually end up being the ones I can't stand a couple years down the road. I guess I've become disillusioned with this person and so while I'm not angry at them anymore or all the time, I still feel that slight twinge.
3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?
I would actually probably call my sister. Not that I don't love other people or like my mom. If I called my mom, she'd probably sob the whole time and not hear a word of what I said. But my sister would be like, "What do you need done before this happens?" I'd tell her how much I love her and my mom and my wildly huge extended family. Then I'd let her to know to tell my peeps how much I love them and she'd know everyone cause I have a small group of close people. And then I've give her my Facebook and DA passwords to let everyone else know. Then I'd probably hang up after we said final goodbyes that way it doesn't seem like we never got to do that. Can you tell I preplan for things like this?
4. You are at the doctor's office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?
Ok, that last question is dumb. Of course, who wouldn't be afraid? Who wouldn't secretly deep down inside seriously not want to die? There are all sorts of brave people in this world and I don't think anything can prepare you for death, even if they externally show no fear. In terms of telling people, I'd probably tell those closest to me at that particular time. I wouldn't want a pity party but I would definitely want to see those close to me one last time, and not for a brief moment. Most of that month would probably be spent spending time doing what I love with the people I love.
5. You can one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love or Trust?
Ooooo, a toughie. I like both. I value trust a lot. If a person can be honest with me and I can be honest with them, then I feel really well connected to that person. On a deeper level, I guess you'd call that honest love. I believe there are many forms of fake love, so I'd probably choose trust. They both their benefits and negatives obviously.
6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dog's life? Why or why not?
Another simple one. Save the dog's life. Anyone who knows me well knows that I'm a stickler for being on time to things, especially if I have a designated time for being there. I've let leaders or bosses know if I might potentially be late, even if I wasn't. So naturally the boss in this situation is not worth that kind of fretting over; his watch is in fact wrong, and I'd still be probably 5 or so minutes early. If he fires me, welp, I can't help that he didn't set his clocks right.
7. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?
Again, another tough one. As I mentioned above, I think there are so many forms of deceptive love and I'm skeptical about it, so probably that one. While I'm skeptical about trusting people, the ones I do trust, I trust fully and so it would be way harder to take.
8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say?
I honestly can't give a complete answer on this one because it would depend on the situation, time, place, etc. And obviously the person. I consider myself to have several best friends, both of the female and male gender. Even if it was someone who I also liked back, I'd probably step back a moment and think about it. So yeah, it would depend.
9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or why not?
Nope, just nope. It may seem selfish, but one year of my life who be significantly more important to me than 1 hour for that person.
10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
In most aspects, yes. I'd love to have someone exactly like me to tell me off, whom I could tell off. We'd probably be royals pains to each other, but in the end we'd know the other was just being honest and truthful and they trusted us enough to tell us that truth.
Then again, it would also suck if they didn't trust us enough.
11. Does love = sex?
No. Plain and simple. I think at some point in a relationship (a good relationship, not a casual one) that sex can be a very important and common aspect. And for a while, that's what it's all about, but I think true relationships that last a long time have to encompass all forms of love. I think a relationship built from sex will be, in most cases, short lived and not necessarily pleasant for both people. Someone always wants more.
12. Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means or income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or why not?
Again, this is a very depends on the situation question. In this economy, giving up my job for someone else would seem rather foolish. I'd have to have another job idea lined up in order to be that kind. There are a lot of ifs, ands or buts in this question. What if I was single? Then this job is also my only means of income. I am in fact supporting myself. If I have a family, and my husband or significant other has a job, then it would be more likely. If the oppurtunity presented itself to have a better more fulfilling job, I probably would. But my boss could also be laying to person off for more reasons other than a work shortage and the time the coworker has worked there.
13. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?
Ask me later this year.
14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite/same sex, you love them or you do not love them back?
That I love them. I've yet to be put into the position of rejecting someone, so I honestly can't compare the two right now.
15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?
I've always had this fear of losing my sight. Everything we do in this world is almost all visually oriented and with being an artist as well as a chemist, I value my sight (they didn't invent lab goggles for no reason). I use sight to analyze people's body language when I'm talking to them.
The only thing I might ever miss as much would be my hearing. I love listening to voices and music.
16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you?
I'm pretty sure I told one of my best friends that I loved them last weekend. It's much easier to say that to a best friend who is female, but I do love all of my close friends.
17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why?
Wouldn't. My brain tends to try and disregard regret. If you spend all your time focusing on what you could have changed, then you aren't changing the present you, which is more important. I'd rather look to a future of no regrets than a past of trying to clear them up.
18. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or why not?
Yes.
And I'm not sure why some of these questions have why or why nots on them.
19. You are holding onto your grandmother's hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was the rationale for making the decision?
I'd hand the newborn over to my grandmother's free arm and save them both. My rationale? Occasionally, I'm not a realist and I'm overly optimistic.
I'd like to intervene in these questions for a second and let the person that wrote these know that although deep, some of these questions are just plain evil.
20. Are you old fashioned?
I think outwardly, I try not to be. Old fashioned to me implies sticking to very strict and rigid guidelines for perceiving yourself and others. Personally and internally, I think I am. I'm very open to other people's ways of life and I think that is still a very modern way of thinking for this world. So yeah, I'm kinda old fashioned but kinda not.
21. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?
When I bought my friend lunch because I wanted to hang out with him. Then again, I guess I did get to hang out with him in return for buying him a sandwich. :/
22. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?
Even if my heart was broken, I'd probably still reflect on the times that love was true. I've had love all my life for the most part and I definitely would not want to live without it. And even with that love, my heart has been broken several times by people I've deeply cared about, so eh? I'm alive and love with broken heartedness is much better than no love at all.
23. If you do anything or wish anything, what would it be?
That the writer of these questions actually had two more original questions after this but it turns out they forgot that they just asked 22 and 23 and just repeated them both for 24 and 25.
Deceptive, question writer, deceptive.
Therefore there were only 23 questions asked. :/
Monday, October 1, 2012
The Great Facebook Purge
I've had my own Facebook page since the dawn of high school Facebook in I think 2006. Back then, Facebook profiles could only be obtained if you were invited by a student at your school who had a page. Sometimes I wonder who was the origin of Zionsville's Facebook community. Either way, back then, I found Facebook creepy but a good way to get into contact with people since I still had no cellular device until 2 years later. I didn't post much in statuses or photos, I just existed there merely to come into contact with my friends from school and also to keep in contact with the people I had moved away from.
As I grew more and more comfortable with my online self, I posted more, complained more, added more people who I didn't necessarily really interact with. This is odd to me personally because offline, I keep very few people close. If you ask me how many friends I have, I may actually only say around 4 or 5 names because my friendship circles exist in very strict hierarchies. I generally do not have just friends. I have people I deeply care about and then I have people who I interact with occasionally but really never delve my deepest secrets to, and I usually regard them more as acquaintances. Most people I know think I see this as a very black and white divide, but it's how I've developed many of my friendships in the past.
So then why do I have 300 people that I am friends with on Facebook? I'm not really sure. I skimmed it and I see people who, while generally interested in what is happening in their school lives lately, I could actually care less about their overall daily lives. And they do not interact on my Facebook page either.
But what I also don't understand is why on Facebook I'm more open to complaining or posting things which I would not usually share with people who could care less. Naturally I will never stop posting my artwork on my Facebook profile because I understand not everyone goes to my DA page to view my gallery and I feel like that art is something I can share with everyone, not just my close friends.
Tonight, I made the conscious decision to discontinue this useless path of aimlessly posting my every thought to Facebook. Come graduation time, I want to be able to post updates about the general things happening in my life to the people who I know are interested to look at that in the future; to keep in contact with those I wish to keep in contact with whom also stay in contact with me. I've also been attempting to purge my friends list, which is an easy task when you ask one question: Do I care about this person's daily life and do they continue to interact with mine via Facebook?
I'm not doing this because it's unprofessional or is gonna fail to get me a job in the future, but I do actually remember a time when I was literally an invisible wall of a person. People could not get inside me with noticing me first. And I value that deep interaction I have with people; both offline and online. I've met many great people online that I consider to be in my inner online circle, similar to those I know offline who are within my inner circle in real life. They are slightly different but only because on the surface, I see one face-to-face all the time and the others I've never met offline yet.
Of course, my Twitter is what it is. I'm trying to be conscious about what I post there too, to be the right balanced person on those, but it is a good way to interact with my DeviantArt followers who are interested in me moreso outside of my DA gallery.
As I grew more and more comfortable with my online self, I posted more, complained more, added more people who I didn't necessarily really interact with. This is odd to me personally because offline, I keep very few people close. If you ask me how many friends I have, I may actually only say around 4 or 5 names because my friendship circles exist in very strict hierarchies. I generally do not have just friends. I have people I deeply care about and then I have people who I interact with occasionally but really never delve my deepest secrets to, and I usually regard them more as acquaintances. Most people I know think I see this as a very black and white divide, but it's how I've developed many of my friendships in the past.
So then why do I have 300 people that I am friends with on Facebook? I'm not really sure. I skimmed it and I see people who, while generally interested in what is happening in their school lives lately, I could actually care less about their overall daily lives. And they do not interact on my Facebook page either.
But what I also don't understand is why on Facebook I'm more open to complaining or posting things which I would not usually share with people who could care less. Naturally I will never stop posting my artwork on my Facebook profile because I understand not everyone goes to my DA page to view my gallery and I feel like that art is something I can share with everyone, not just my close friends.
Tonight, I made the conscious decision to discontinue this useless path of aimlessly posting my every thought to Facebook. Come graduation time, I want to be able to post updates about the general things happening in my life to the people who I know are interested to look at that in the future; to keep in contact with those I wish to keep in contact with whom also stay in contact with me. I've also been attempting to purge my friends list, which is an easy task when you ask one question: Do I care about this person's daily life and do they continue to interact with mine via Facebook?
I'm not doing this because it's unprofessional or is gonna fail to get me a job in the future, but I do actually remember a time when I was literally an invisible wall of a person. People could not get inside me with noticing me first. And I value that deep interaction I have with people; both offline and online. I've met many great people online that I consider to be in my inner online circle, similar to those I know offline who are within my inner circle in real life. They are slightly different but only because on the surface, I see one face-to-face all the time and the others I've never met offline yet.
Of course, my Twitter is what it is. I'm trying to be conscious about what I post there too, to be the right balanced person on those, but it is a good way to interact with my DeviantArt followers who are interested in me moreso outside of my DA gallery.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Today
Today is the day that I wrote a lab report all day, then drew some, then played Portal some, then discussed values with someone some.
And that is all I did.
And I only had 4 minutes to blog.
And my internet died, so this my daily blog post
Sometimes, I'm not interesting and I'm sorry about that.
Regarding Nightmares
I am known to have an astounding memory. When they say people remember around 20% of your dream in the first five minutes of waking and even less after that. Well, either I just have really long dreams or just a vivid memory but I tend to remember much if not almost all of the dreams I have right before I wake up in the morning. Some of those dreams begin as pre-lucid dreams and finally in the later moments, I realize I'm dreaming and am able to control them/wake up from them. Most of the time I consider the dreams I can remember a blessing and they've often been premonitions of what was coming in the future (which I may elaborate about in another post) but this morning I awoke 10 minutes before my alarm went off due to a significantly bad nightmare.
Since I hate divulging full contents of dreams, I shall modify the story a bit, mostly cause it involved some very real people in my life. I can actually make a mostly true scenario using other people in my life technically.
Anyways, this dream began in far off dream land. Like all dreamers, I can never pinpoint the start of the dream but the location of this dream changed quite a bit and assumes many things:
The middle of the story, in which I start knowing the scene involves me and a known female friend. We are chatting it up in a class about something or other and she mentions that she has asked this guy to go out with her. In this story, though I know the guy in real life, in my dream, I seem to only be acquainted with him, but I seem to like him as well. She then proceeds to tell me that he hasn't given her an answer yet, which made my dreamself a little hopeful, I think.
The day continues with me seeing said acquainted guy in another class (random). Again, I don't remember how I ended up from point A above to point B, but I did. He begins to tell me about how my previously mentioned female friend asked him out. That's great. My dreamself remains calm during this scene so I only distinctly remember him saying that he was thinking about saying "yes." Cut to scene 3.
Scene 3 is finally the one where I consciously knew what was going on. I proceed to leave the school setting to head for my car. As soon as I get to my car, I spot the pair making out and suddenly I'm regretting not telling this guy I like him too. I literally bolted out of my dream and I woke up crying.
Now this seems pathetic, but despite the content of the dream, it was rather relevant. I also didn't like waking up sad and crying. I felt rather pathetic right at the beginning of the day. Do you ever have nightmares that feel physically and emotionally real that when you wake up you feel exactly like you did in the dream? I absolutely hate when my semi-lucid dreams are nightmares.
Since I hate divulging full contents of dreams, I shall modify the story a bit, mostly cause it involved some very real people in my life. I can actually make a mostly true scenario using other people in my life technically.
Anyways, this dream began in far off dream land. Like all dreamers, I can never pinpoint the start of the dream but the location of this dream changed quite a bit and assumes many things:
- It involves two real friends of mine and several nameless projections of whom I don't know but are assumed to also be my friends
- It takes place first inside a school setting, then leaving that school setting
- Aside from my friends being real people, they didn't seem to maintain their traits, which is good, I suppose.
- Also, let's assume this is high school. Since it seemed like a one building deal.
The middle of the story, in which I start knowing the scene involves me and a known female friend. We are chatting it up in a class about something or other and she mentions that she has asked this guy to go out with her. In this story, though I know the guy in real life, in my dream, I seem to only be acquainted with him, but I seem to like him as well. She then proceeds to tell me that he hasn't given her an answer yet, which made my dreamself a little hopeful, I think.
The day continues with me seeing said acquainted guy in another class (random). Again, I don't remember how I ended up from point A above to point B, but I did. He begins to tell me about how my previously mentioned female friend asked him out. That's great. My dreamself remains calm during this scene so I only distinctly remember him saying that he was thinking about saying "yes." Cut to scene 3.
Scene 3 is finally the one where I consciously knew what was going on. I proceed to leave the school setting to head for my car. As soon as I get to my car, I spot the pair making out and suddenly I'm regretting not telling this guy I like him too. I literally bolted out of my dream and I woke up crying.
Now this seems pathetic, but despite the content of the dream, it was rather relevant. I also didn't like waking up sad and crying. I felt rather pathetic right at the beginning of the day. Do you ever have nightmares that feel physically and emotionally real that when you wake up you feel exactly like you did in the dream? I absolutely hate when my semi-lucid dreams are nightmares.
Friday, September 14, 2012
On Indiana and Autumn
If you haven't figured out my location yet, I obviously live in Indiana. It's regarded as the Crossroads of America. I have almost no idea why except that the Old National Road runs through Indiana and many different interstate highways connect there. I've been an Indiana resident all my life.
Indiana, like many midwestern states is known for it's inability to maintain constant weather conditions for more than a day or so. Nevertheless, I've grown to like one particular season in this state, and since today has been quite chilly and cloudy, it reminds me why I love autumn.
Autumn is like a blessing for me each year. When I was in high school, I participated in color guard during the marching band season. Marching band starts in early June and ends around the end of October. The summer months are usually horrendous, with July being the worst. We practice out on hot black pavement, holding metal poles of flags (which can get very hot as well) and water breaks never seem to come when they should. But once school starts and practices are moved to the evenings and fall weather takes over, most, if not all the practices are generally pleasant. Occasionally a thunderstorm gives us the chance to head inside early or keep us from marching, but that is also a blessing and a good chance to practice for variable weather changes at competitions.
Being in college, and no longer in color guard, has also led me to love autumn even more. I go to a large university which has almost as much green space as it does base square feet of buildings. My walk to class is usually about 10 or 15 minutes and a good amount of that involves walking into the wooded areas around a part of campus where the university isn't really allowed to cut down trees. The original owners of the land wanted the green space maintained, so if a tree was cut down, two more had to be planted on campus. This has been upheld many times while I've been here. Indeed, when last summer (2011) had a slew of bad storms tear through campus, downing a few trees, the university made an effort to replant twice that many trees on other parts of campus. I love walking through the parts of campus where buildings are hidden by trees; it's very relaxing and unstressful.
Indeed I cannot wait for fall to hit fully, because though it's nearly mid-September, the leaves have not yet begun to fall from the trees. Hopefully that begins soon, because I love crunching through leaves and watching the chipmunks and squirrels dig around in them for food. Crunchy leaves are possibly my most favorite object of fall. I also look forward to the chilly weather and Thanksgiving and it's passing into winter. It yields to hot chocolate and for Starbucks fans, pumpkin spice lattes and warm pie. Just writing about fall is making me more excited for what's to come.
I hope all of you have a wonderful fall season, whether you're in school or marching band or just looking forward to a change from the hot summer.
An Autobiography
In an analytical list form so I can avoid correct grammar and writing structure.
Name: Michelle
Internet name: Amethyst or Ame, or whatever really
Birthday: Good ol' Pearl Harbor Day, December 7th
Hails from: A midwest state known for it's limestone and corn
Occupation: Semipermanent Student (I have 6 more years ahead of me)
Favorite color: Purple, if that wasn't definite from the title, internet name
Other languages: Sarcasm (mostly fluent), German and Japanese, though I'd love to learn Russian, Italian, Korean and proper British English
Okay, I see this isn't going to work. I'll try this writing thing properly.
I was born in a suburb of the large city that hails as the capital of the state of corn and limestone. There I learned the ways of being me. I went to preschool and kindergarten as Christian private schools. Despite my lack of religious affiliation, I still remember many songs fondly and I can still recite Psalms 23 for the most part. I went to an elementary school with was shaped like a circle; it was easy to get lost if you weren't used to it. It was in 4th grade that I fell in love with the instrument known as the violin and I began to take lessons that year. Sadly, for the most part, the only thing I remember well from elementary school was Sept. 11 2001, which occurred in 5th grade. I do remember my best friend moving my 6th grade year to Arizona. I'm happy to say, she and I still remain in contact through the powers of Facebook.
It was after 7th grade that I managed to change schools 3 times for the next three years. I attended the local junior high school for 7th grade and then my family moved to a tiny white bread town just north of aforementioned capital city. There I attended 8th grade in their single middle school and the following year began high school. My 4 years of high school were all the mix of hormones, confusion, rage and awesomeness that many teenagers will reflect later. It was in high school that I learned to be me or to finally be me. I learned not to be controlled by others. It was in high school that I learned to only keep few close and keep everyone at arm's length. It seems selfish, but it works for me and people have to do what works for them. I also learned in high school how much I love chemistry. I'm sure sometime I will talk about my chemistry history, which is a story in and of itself.
Finally in the spring of 2009, I graduated from white bread high school with a GPA of like 3.7 and now I go to a diversified college. I was happy to get away from the white bread town though getting away from my somewhat ok home life was harder.
In the fall of my sophomore year of undergrad, my father passed away. I call him my father because dad sounds like it meant that I was close with him. However, over the course of several years (many of which I didn't really notice at first) he had managed to create a void between us. It's difficult to talk about, because on one hand, someone always wishes for the perfect parents and we want people to redeem themselves and I will never have that but at the same time, he created so many problems that I was kinda okay with it all. Either way I felt, that year sucked, majorly. My GPA fell and I was struggling to make it in the world of chemistry and college. I got some spring back when I finally found a position in a lab. I work with a wonderful professor, whose love for organic chemistry and how it relates to the human body is evident in her work and her love for teaching comes out when she manages to tolerate three undergrad students at once.
That brings me to the present. I am a senior and I will be applying for graduate school, soon, I hope. I have not narrowed my list down to schools I can go to and where I'd like to locate myself in this world. But I'm sure that will all unfold.
Name: Michelle
Internet name: Amethyst or Ame, or whatever really
Birthday: Good ol' Pearl Harbor Day, December 7th
Hails from: A midwest state known for it's limestone and corn
Occupation: Semipermanent Student (I have 6 more years ahead of me)
Favorite color: Purple, if that wasn't definite from the title, internet name
Other languages: Sarcasm (mostly fluent), German and Japanese, though I'd love to learn Russian, Italian, Korean and proper British English
Okay, I see this isn't going to work. I'll try this writing thing properly.
I was born in a suburb of the large city that hails as the capital of the state of corn and limestone. There I learned the ways of being me. I went to preschool and kindergarten as Christian private schools. Despite my lack of religious affiliation, I still remember many songs fondly and I can still recite Psalms 23 for the most part. I went to an elementary school with was shaped like a circle; it was easy to get lost if you weren't used to it. It was in 4th grade that I fell in love with the instrument known as the violin and I began to take lessons that year. Sadly, for the most part, the only thing I remember well from elementary school was Sept. 11 2001, which occurred in 5th grade. I do remember my best friend moving my 6th grade year to Arizona. I'm happy to say, she and I still remain in contact through the powers of Facebook.
It was after 7th grade that I managed to change schools 3 times for the next three years. I attended the local junior high school for 7th grade and then my family moved to a tiny white bread town just north of aforementioned capital city. There I attended 8th grade in their single middle school and the following year began high school. My 4 years of high school were all the mix of hormones, confusion, rage and awesomeness that many teenagers will reflect later. It was in high school that I learned to be me or to finally be me. I learned not to be controlled by others. It was in high school that I learned to only keep few close and keep everyone at arm's length. It seems selfish, but it works for me and people have to do what works for them. I also learned in high school how much I love chemistry. I'm sure sometime I will talk about my chemistry history, which is a story in and of itself.
Finally in the spring of 2009, I graduated from white bread high school with a GPA of like 3.7 and now I go to a diversified college. I was happy to get away from the white bread town though getting away from my somewhat ok home life was harder.
In the fall of my sophomore year of undergrad, my father passed away. I call him my father because dad sounds like it meant that I was close with him. However, over the course of several years (many of which I didn't really notice at first) he had managed to create a void between us. It's difficult to talk about, because on one hand, someone always wishes for the perfect parents and we want people to redeem themselves and I will never have that but at the same time, he created so many problems that I was kinda okay with it all. Either way I felt, that year sucked, majorly. My GPA fell and I was struggling to make it in the world of chemistry and college. I got some spring back when I finally found a position in a lab. I work with a wonderful professor, whose love for organic chemistry and how it relates to the human body is evident in her work and her love for teaching comes out when she manages to tolerate three undergrad students at once.
That brings me to the present. I am a senior and I will be applying for graduate school, soon, I hope. I have not narrowed my list down to schools I can go to and where I'd like to locate myself in this world. But I'm sure that will all unfold.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
An Introduction
If it wasn't apparent to anyone ever in my life, most people know that I do in fact hate talking about myself. Some people will go, "No, no Michelle, you talk about yourself all the time, especially about your art." And yes, that's true, I, like most artists, can talk about my art. But other than that, I fail at writing any such essays or applications which involve me listing my merits and personality, because altogether, it seems very false.
I do enjoy writing though and sharing things that I love, and that is what I want Amethystinus Aether to be about. I want it to be an inside view of things I find to love and wish to share; like my favorite music or the journal I happen to be reading about in chemistry recently.
You'll find I'm quite paradoxical in nature and that is because I generally think in many situations, I use both sides of my brain. My left brain loves chemistry, it loves the mathematical and analytical sides of art and the world and my right brain is the creative one; it applies what ideas it has to ever part of my work.
In that sense, I'm both a scientist and an artist. And those two things blend very well. It takes creativeness to find new things in the world of chemistry and for me, it's takes the analyticalness of my scientific side to properly draw figures in art. It is difficult for me to speak about a one true passion. The truth of it all is that I'm very passionate about both chemistry and art, and those two worlds are hard to maintain in balance with each other.
On one hand, there is my chemistry. I became interested in it in my junior year of high school, after finding I had a knack for understanding it's basic principles. While now I realize I'm average at best in chemistry, I still love it and I want to continue studying it in order to find a fulfilling career that helps people, be it at a pharmaceutical company or some other industry job. I've learned several things in my time in undergraduate studies in chemistry: 1) I do not like organic, no matter how much my adviser encourages it 2) to get a good career in chemistry, you have to have a masters or Ph.D. and 3) I'm in love with chemical interactions that occur in the body. I'm sure as this blog progresses, you will learn about my time applying to graduate schools, since I'm a senior, and that is my main plan straight out of college.
And on the other hand, I'm obsessed with everything art. I've drawn all my life, I dance and I've played the violin. I love looking at art and being involved in it. It's something I hold dear, just as much as chemistry, but because it will never be my career, it often sits on the back-burner. I'm fortunate to find time to participate in ballroom dance and draw almost every week. But I haven't picked up my violin in several years, except to tune it and play short tunes. My drawing style is manga illustration. While I mostly do fanart, I do have quite a few original characters involved in an original story tentatively dubbed "Omega" and I wish to get the comic off the ground soon. I'm also trying to change my style to something less manga-like, with realistic eyes and noses and lips. When I took a drawing class in college, I adored doing figure work, I even took the time to go to free figure drawing sessions on some evenings just because they were offered for free. In keeping art a hobby, I hope I will be able to expand my appreciation for it as well as continue learning at my own pace and not feel obligated to change at the rate I'm sure most artists do.
So sometimes, I am the best of both worlds, however, I have a feeling this year chemistry will take over and in graduate school it shall reign supreme. I will try to keep my art appreciation and love alive despite that. I hope that this blog can display both of those worlds. I love sharing interesting things in both art and chemistry. And I hope you will continue to follow me here on my journey through life.
~<3
I do enjoy writing though and sharing things that I love, and that is what I want Amethystinus Aether to be about. I want it to be an inside view of things I find to love and wish to share; like my favorite music or the journal I happen to be reading about in chemistry recently.
You'll find I'm quite paradoxical in nature and that is because I generally think in many situations, I use both sides of my brain. My left brain loves chemistry, it loves the mathematical and analytical sides of art and the world and my right brain is the creative one; it applies what ideas it has to ever part of my work.
In that sense, I'm both a scientist and an artist. And those two things blend very well. It takes creativeness to find new things in the world of chemistry and for me, it's takes the analyticalness of my scientific side to properly draw figures in art. It is difficult for me to speak about a one true passion. The truth of it all is that I'm very passionate about both chemistry and art, and those two worlds are hard to maintain in balance with each other.
On one hand, there is my chemistry. I became interested in it in my junior year of high school, after finding I had a knack for understanding it's basic principles. While now I realize I'm average at best in chemistry, I still love it and I want to continue studying it in order to find a fulfilling career that helps people, be it at a pharmaceutical company or some other industry job. I've learned several things in my time in undergraduate studies in chemistry: 1) I do not like organic, no matter how much my adviser encourages it 2) to get a good career in chemistry, you have to have a masters or Ph.D. and 3) I'm in love with chemical interactions that occur in the body. I'm sure as this blog progresses, you will learn about my time applying to graduate schools, since I'm a senior, and that is my main plan straight out of college.
And on the other hand, I'm obsessed with everything art. I've drawn all my life, I dance and I've played the violin. I love looking at art and being involved in it. It's something I hold dear, just as much as chemistry, but because it will never be my career, it often sits on the back-burner. I'm fortunate to find time to participate in ballroom dance and draw almost every week. But I haven't picked up my violin in several years, except to tune it and play short tunes. My drawing style is manga illustration. While I mostly do fanart, I do have quite a few original characters involved in an original story tentatively dubbed "Omega" and I wish to get the comic off the ground soon. I'm also trying to change my style to something less manga-like, with realistic eyes and noses and lips. When I took a drawing class in college, I adored doing figure work, I even took the time to go to free figure drawing sessions on some evenings just because they were offered for free. In keeping art a hobby, I hope I will be able to expand my appreciation for it as well as continue learning at my own pace and not feel obligated to change at the rate I'm sure most artists do.
So sometimes, I am the best of both worlds, however, I have a feeling this year chemistry will take over and in graduate school it shall reign supreme. I will try to keep my art appreciation and love alive despite that. I hope that this blog can display both of those worlds. I love sharing interesting things in both art and chemistry. And I hope you will continue to follow me here on my journey through life.
~<3
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